Tuesday, January 05, 2010

The Worst of 2009 (The Worst Year on Record for Bad Films)

01. I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER

Summation: Since John Hughes passed away after this film was released, he wasn't rolling over in his grave so much as sent to it.

02. THE BOX

Summation: Uwe Boll might have been de-throned. Give this man his crown!

03. THE UNBORN

Summation: Talk about a movie that should have been 'unmade'. Gary Oldman deserves an Oscar just for being in here and not walking off set.

04. KILLSHOT

Summation: When it takes three years to bring a film to distribution, you can bet there's usually something critically wrong with it.

05. THE FINAL DESTINATION

Summation: The only thing 3-D about this film is how Dumb Dumb Dumb it is. The worst use of 3-D in the history of film.

06. BRUNO

Summation: A series of regular people confronted with the most ridiculous homosexuality imaginable with Bruno acting shocked they would react that way. I would have knocked his fucking head off.

07. TERMINATOR: SALVATION

Summation: McG does not a good "Terminator" film make. Ugly, bad and feeble attempt that should finally kill the franchise.

08. WHAT GOES UP

Summation: A comedy about the Challenger explosion. Need I say more?

09. CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT

Summation: A case of "Harry Potter" meets "Twilight". Audience loses.

10. THE PRIVATES LIVES OF PIPPA LEE

Summation: The most feminist film of the year showing that men are always wrong and assholes and that women have vaginas of power!

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