After months and months of piddling around, sitting on my ass and not contributing to the world of cinema anymore than Uwe Boll, I am pleased to announce that the month of December will herald the return of Movies Made Easy, but with a slightly different format. I will be engaging in point/counterpoint critiques with guest critics on as many new releases as I can muster the time to see.
I will also attempt to backtrack and cover some of the more notable films that I have neglected (in review form) over the past few months.
Keep checking back for updates beginning early December!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
PLAYING CATCH UP
As you are probably already aware, 2009 has been a little hectic. You haven't seen many reviews posted though I assure you I have been doing just as much of that thing we call movie watching. So, let me play catch up with the releases I have seen thus far and expect fresh reviews to start flowing again, like always:
The Unborn
0 REELS
One of the worst horror films I have EVER seen; a lame attempt at something with Gary Oldman delivering his worst career choice yet as a Rabbi.
My Bloody Valentine 3-D
3 REELS
A fun and festive little blood-romp that was far more entertaining that it should have been thanks to slick direction and appreciation for the genre.
Killshot
0 REELS
The long delayed John Madden film that turned out to be just plain awful, featuring pitiful performances and even more pitiful direction.
Taken
4 REELS
Leave it to Liam Neeson to kick massive amounts of ass. This was one of those balls to the wall action films I love, similar to "Unleashed".
Medicine for Melancholy
4 REELS
A slow and sleepy little dreamer about love in the city that showcases a fine new directing talent hitting the scene.
Friday the 13TH
0 REELS
There was absolutely no reason for this film to be made.
The Last House on the Left
3.5 REELS
Not awful. Not awful at all. Some fine performances and some genuine tension help elevate this above your average remake. Go Tony Goldwyn, Go!
Knowing
4 REELS
This film received mixed reviews, but I thought it was one of the more compelling science fiction films I have seen in recent years.
The Great Buck Howard
4 REELS
Oscar nomination worthy performances from Malkovich and Hanks and a tight and entertaining script made this one of the years best surprises.
The New Twenty
3 REELS
Not much happens here, but what doesn't happen is still pretty interesting. Won't find mass appeal, but I thought it was thought-provoking.
The Haunting in Connecticut
2 REELS
This could have been so much better than it was. Kyle Gallner is adorable, but Virginia Madsen is just bad and the ending is cheap and ridiculous.
The Education of Charlie Banks
4 REELS
Damned fine directorial debut for Durst with some great performances and one of the most intriguing plotlines I have seen unfold all year long.
Goodbye Solo
5 REELS
Easily one of the best films of the year, the acting and direction are spotless and the filmmaker delivers yet another masterpiece in drama.
Adventureland
4.5 REELS
One hell of a fun time and all the nostalgia you could ask for and then some. This is why I love going to the movies.
The Escapist
5 REELS
Brian Cox delivers an Oscar worthy performance in one of the best prison films I have ever seen. Leaves you guessing until the very end.
Observe and Report
5 REELS
Absolutely hysterical. Funniest film of the year and one of the best comedies I have ever seen. Never stopped laughing. Flawless comedy.
17 Again
3.5 REELS
Give a forgettable comedy to a fine director like Burr Steers and this is the result. Efron has great charisma on screen and I laughed out loud quite a bit.
Obsessed
3 REELS
Pretty generic thriller and more of a guilty pleasure than anything else but I will say that it is always nice to see Christine Lahti get work.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
1 REEL
Too much money and not enough everything else.
Star Trek
5 REELS
I can't think of having ever been more satisfied with a Summer blockbuster than I was with this film. I cannot stop watching it.
The Brothers Bloom
4.5 REELS
Clever little caper film from Riann Johnson that satisfies on so many levels. Gives an indie edge to a more mainstream indie film.
Terminator: Salvation
1 REEL
If shit could reproduce, this would be its only child.
Drag Me to Hell
3.5 REELS
Strong return to form for Sam Raimi and one of the scariest little horror films to come around in a long time. Thank God for old masters.
Up
4.5 REELS
The best Pixar film to date and one of the sweetest and most thoughtful films of the year, hands down. I am still quoting the damned thing.
The Hangover
2 REELS
A whole lot of hype for nothing. Laughed a few times but this was just a lame little comedy no better than "Old School" or "Road Trip".
Land of the Lost
3 REELS
The most batshit insane movie of the year, but Danny McBride made me laugh and I have to applaud the decision to just throw everything out there.
Away We Go
4 REELS
Thoughtful romantic comedy for adults pondering children and a strong testament to Mendes, Krasinski and especially Maya Rudolph who is just luminous.
Moon
4.5 REELS
Tight and frigid little sci-fi thriller that is just about perfect in execution. Sam Rockwell delivers a sure to be Oscar nominated performance.
Dead Snow
3.5 REELS
Nazi Zombies! Pretty much a re-hash of 100 other films, this one still kept me laughing and smiling throughout. I love gore.
My Sister’s Keeper
3.5 REELS
Nick Cassavetes saves this from becoming just another Lifetime movie of the week. Strong performances and a very interest plotline abound.
Public Enemies
2 REELS
Mediocre film from a great director. Is there anything more sad?
Bruno
3 REELS
This one ain't no "Borat". Just didn't work for me that much, but I did laugh my ass off, though most of it was from just being uncomfortable.
I Love You, Beth Cooper
1 REEL
A career low for Columbus and one of the worst attempts to re-capture the John Hughes feeling I have ever seen. Bad, bad, bad.
The Unborn
0 REELS
One of the worst horror films I have EVER seen; a lame attempt at something with Gary Oldman delivering his worst career choice yet as a Rabbi.
My Bloody Valentine 3-D
3 REELS
A fun and festive little blood-romp that was far more entertaining that it should have been thanks to slick direction and appreciation for the genre.
Killshot
0 REELS
The long delayed John Madden film that turned out to be just plain awful, featuring pitiful performances and even more pitiful direction.
Taken
4 REELS
Leave it to Liam Neeson to kick massive amounts of ass. This was one of those balls to the wall action films I love, similar to "Unleashed".
Medicine for Melancholy
4 REELS
A slow and sleepy little dreamer about love in the city that showcases a fine new directing talent hitting the scene.
Friday the 13TH
0 REELS
There was absolutely no reason for this film to be made.
The Last House on the Left
3.5 REELS
Not awful. Not awful at all. Some fine performances and some genuine tension help elevate this above your average remake. Go Tony Goldwyn, Go!
Knowing
4 REELS
This film received mixed reviews, but I thought it was one of the more compelling science fiction films I have seen in recent years.
The Great Buck Howard
4 REELS
Oscar nomination worthy performances from Malkovich and Hanks and a tight and entertaining script made this one of the years best surprises.
The New Twenty
3 REELS
Not much happens here, but what doesn't happen is still pretty interesting. Won't find mass appeal, but I thought it was thought-provoking.
The Haunting in Connecticut
2 REELS
This could have been so much better than it was. Kyle Gallner is adorable, but Virginia Madsen is just bad and the ending is cheap and ridiculous.
The Education of Charlie Banks
4 REELS
Damned fine directorial debut for Durst with some great performances and one of the most intriguing plotlines I have seen unfold all year long.
Goodbye Solo
5 REELS
Easily one of the best films of the year, the acting and direction are spotless and the filmmaker delivers yet another masterpiece in drama.
Adventureland
4.5 REELS
One hell of a fun time and all the nostalgia you could ask for and then some. This is why I love going to the movies.
The Escapist
5 REELS
Brian Cox delivers an Oscar worthy performance in one of the best prison films I have ever seen. Leaves you guessing until the very end.
Observe and Report
5 REELS
Absolutely hysterical. Funniest film of the year and one of the best comedies I have ever seen. Never stopped laughing. Flawless comedy.
17 Again
3.5 REELS
Give a forgettable comedy to a fine director like Burr Steers and this is the result. Efron has great charisma on screen and I laughed out loud quite a bit.
Obsessed
3 REELS
Pretty generic thriller and more of a guilty pleasure than anything else but I will say that it is always nice to see Christine Lahti get work.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
1 REEL
Too much money and not enough everything else.
Star Trek
5 REELS
I can't think of having ever been more satisfied with a Summer blockbuster than I was with this film. I cannot stop watching it.
The Brothers Bloom
4.5 REELS
Clever little caper film from Riann Johnson that satisfies on so many levels. Gives an indie edge to a more mainstream indie film.
Terminator: Salvation
1 REEL
If shit could reproduce, this would be its only child.
Drag Me to Hell
3.5 REELS
Strong return to form for Sam Raimi and one of the scariest little horror films to come around in a long time. Thank God for old masters.
Up
4.5 REELS
The best Pixar film to date and one of the sweetest and most thoughtful films of the year, hands down. I am still quoting the damned thing.
The Hangover
2 REELS
A whole lot of hype for nothing. Laughed a few times but this was just a lame little comedy no better than "Old School" or "Road Trip".
Land of the Lost
3 REELS
The most batshit insane movie of the year, but Danny McBride made me laugh and I have to applaud the decision to just throw everything out there.
Away We Go
4 REELS
Thoughtful romantic comedy for adults pondering children and a strong testament to Mendes, Krasinski and especially Maya Rudolph who is just luminous.
Moon
4.5 REELS
Tight and frigid little sci-fi thriller that is just about perfect in execution. Sam Rockwell delivers a sure to be Oscar nominated performance.
Dead Snow
3.5 REELS
Nazi Zombies! Pretty much a re-hash of 100 other films, this one still kept me laughing and smiling throughout. I love gore.
My Sister’s Keeper
3.5 REELS
Nick Cassavetes saves this from becoming just another Lifetime movie of the week. Strong performances and a very interest plotline abound.
Public Enemies
2 REELS
Mediocre film from a great director. Is there anything more sad?
Bruno
3 REELS
This one ain't no "Borat". Just didn't work for me that much, but I did laugh my ass off, though most of it was from just being uncomfortable.
I Love You, Beth Cooper
1 REEL
A career low for Columbus and one of the worst attempts to re-capture the John Hughes feeling I have ever seen. Bad, bad, bad.
Friday, May 22, 2009
TERMINATOR: SALVATION Film Critique
What better way to kill a franchise than throat cancer?
Here’s my question – the humans and machines have been fighting for quite a while – a constant barrage of gunfire, hand-to-hand combat and explosions that has raged for years and years. From the looks of “Terminator: Salvation”, you’d think the human race would have long ago been wiped out by tetanus. These machines are super-smart, super-strong and evidently – judging by the fact that one wears a jaunty bandanna – super-fashionable. Who says you can’t herd humans and still express your love of Marc Jacobs? “Terminator: Salvation” has been getting handed some serious negative publicity ever since Christian Bale went on his bizarre profanity-ridden attack against the cinematographer. It didn’t help that Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cools News, i.e. the worst film ‘blogger’ on the planet – basically chastised the filmmakers for even being born. So, I went into the theatre hoping to prove everyone wrong, as I typically do. What resulted was over two-hours of the worst Summer-excrement I can imagine, a film so poorly directed that it propels me to this declaration – McG can not be beaten for the Golden Raspberry for Worst Director. The award has already been given.
Follow this -- the date is 2019 and the war between humans and the machines rages on (and oh God how it rages). John Connor (Christian Bale) doesn’t really lead the humans, power wise, but more in an emotionally comforting kind of way, kind of like Miss Cleo did. The humans have stumbled across a hidden signal that will shut down all of the machines. Really? A signal? That’s it. If only the characters caught on to the obvious like the audience did. Enter Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington), a half-man/half-machine who was constructed by some crazy scientist played by Helena Bonham Carter. He’s been dormant for a few years and wakes to find his world gone. He meets Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin) who will later grow up to inseminate Linda Hamilton. Most of the film involves Marcus and Kyle trying to find John and John trying to find Kyle and Bryce Dallas Howard trying to find her agent to strangle him for one of the worst-written female roles in Summer blockbuster history. Even Meagan Fox gets more to work with all she gets cast for is her stupendous ass. At the end, the machines win because the machines always win and one of the characters does something for another character that you can see coming a mile and a half away.
Let’s talk tech, bitches. McG directs this film like a Lifetime movie. He has no clue how to compose a shot, no clue how to make an audience invest in his characters and no clue that calling himself McG does, without a doubt, make him an incredible douche. The score by Danny Elfman is overbearing, unnecessary and sounds like something by way of GarageBand. The cinematography is tepid and uninspired, so I am glad Christian Bale went on that rant and ripped the D.O.P. a new one – he deserved it. While he was at it – Bale should have shat all over the several screenwriters, Jonathon Nolan included, and the producers and co-producers and executive-producers who don’t understand how to let a once successful franchise die. “Terminator: Salvation” is the embarrassment the franchise has been waiting for. Even “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines” at least had Arnold going for it. The Arnold we get here is a pitifully tracked digital face that looks more like Josh Brolin at angles than Arnold Schwarzenegger. And one more thing – if the terminators are composed of nuclear material, how come when they got blown up in previous films (or earlier in this film), it didn’t wipe out every single thing in the area? That seems to only apply to serve the needs of a script that might be the worst of its kind…ever.
Performance time, or lack thereof. Listening to Christian Bale and Michael Ironside go at it is like listening to Clint Eastwood and Harrison Ford share a heated conversation on a kidnapping:
FORD: Give me back my family.
EASTWOOD: Grrrrrrrrrrr.
FORD: I’m the President of the United States.
EASTWOOD: Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Except this one goes a little something like this:
IRONSIDE: I need you to send your men in.
BALE: Grrrr. I won’t send my men in.
IRONSIDE: Do it!
BALE: Grrrr. No!
IRONSIDE: Then you are relieved of your command!
BALE: Grrrrr. You can’t relieve me of my command!
And who can we get that is super intimidating to be the face of Skynet, one of the most evil entities in film history? Why not Helena Bonham Carter? I know it’s that whole ‘face of a woman’ thing but wouldn’t someone like Forest Whitaker or John Hurt been a better choice? Helena Bonham Carter is just awful when she tries to be interesting. Why? Because she’s not. Bryce Dallas Howard just prances around, pregnant as hell, and serves no purpose in the film. She does nothing, hardly says a word and gets one good Christian Bale kiss to write home about for her efforts. Sam Worthington does an okay job, but he keeps switching accents from American to British to Australian. He’s rather inconsistent and he has too much screams in the film. The best performance in the film comes from Anton Yelchin simply because he was the most believable and he does something I have never seen him do before. The second best performance comes from Linda Hamilton who visits us via vocals on a tape player. Everything else is not worth mentioning because everything else sucks.
This is the perfect example of a trailer that is far better than the film. McG is easily one of the worst directors working in Hollywood and he really should stick to the small screen since he obviously wants to try and make the big screen as small as possible. I want to sit down with him and watch “Terminator: Salvation” with him to get an idea of what he was thinking when he made these decisions. You have to think even someone like Renny Harlin might have given us a couple more cool sequences that weren’t so digital. When I am saying Renny Harlin would have done a better job with something, it means trouble. “Terminator: Salvation” is the worst film of 2009, the worst for the franchise and an absolute waste given the talent involved. And if Christian Bale doesn’t stop with the damned Batman voice, I am going to write him off for good. Take some acting lessons for the love of God. Someone needs to teach him he doesn’t have to sound like he has throat cancer to sound emotional. By the time this film was over, I was rooting for the machines to win. Destroy all humans!
Christian Bale (John Connor)
Sam Worthington (Marcus Wright)
Anton Yelchin (Kyle Reese)
Moon Bloodgood (Blair Williams)
Helena Bonham Carter (Dr. Serena Kogan)
Bryce Dallas Howard (Kate Connor)
Michael Ironside (General Ashdown)
Director: McG
Rated PG-13
Here’s my question – the humans and machines have been fighting for quite a while – a constant barrage of gunfire, hand-to-hand combat and explosions that has raged for years and years. From the looks of “Terminator: Salvation”, you’d think the human race would have long ago been wiped out by tetanus. These machines are super-smart, super-strong and evidently – judging by the fact that one wears a jaunty bandanna – super-fashionable. Who says you can’t herd humans and still express your love of Marc Jacobs? “Terminator: Salvation” has been getting handed some serious negative publicity ever since Christian Bale went on his bizarre profanity-ridden attack against the cinematographer. It didn’t help that Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cools News, i.e. the worst film ‘blogger’ on the planet – basically chastised the filmmakers for even being born. So, I went into the theatre hoping to prove everyone wrong, as I typically do. What resulted was over two-hours of the worst Summer-excrement I can imagine, a film so poorly directed that it propels me to this declaration – McG can not be beaten for the Golden Raspberry for Worst Director. The award has already been given.
Follow this -- the date is 2019 and the war between humans and the machines rages on (and oh God how it rages). John Connor (Christian Bale) doesn’t really lead the humans, power wise, but more in an emotionally comforting kind of way, kind of like Miss Cleo did. The humans have stumbled across a hidden signal that will shut down all of the machines. Really? A signal? That’s it. If only the characters caught on to the obvious like the audience did. Enter Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington), a half-man/half-machine who was constructed by some crazy scientist played by Helena Bonham Carter. He’s been dormant for a few years and wakes to find his world gone. He meets Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin) who will later grow up to inseminate Linda Hamilton. Most of the film involves Marcus and Kyle trying to find John and John trying to find Kyle and Bryce Dallas Howard trying to find her agent to strangle him for one of the worst-written female roles in Summer blockbuster history. Even Meagan Fox gets more to work with all she gets cast for is her stupendous ass. At the end, the machines win because the machines always win and one of the characters does something for another character that you can see coming a mile and a half away.
Let’s talk tech, bitches. McG directs this film like a Lifetime movie. He has no clue how to compose a shot, no clue how to make an audience invest in his characters and no clue that calling himself McG does, without a doubt, make him an incredible douche. The score by Danny Elfman is overbearing, unnecessary and sounds like something by way of GarageBand. The cinematography is tepid and uninspired, so I am glad Christian Bale went on that rant and ripped the D.O.P. a new one – he deserved it. While he was at it – Bale should have shat all over the several screenwriters, Jonathon Nolan included, and the producers and co-producers and executive-producers who don’t understand how to let a once successful franchise die. “Terminator: Salvation” is the embarrassment the franchise has been waiting for. Even “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines” at least had Arnold going for it. The Arnold we get here is a pitifully tracked digital face that looks more like Josh Brolin at angles than Arnold Schwarzenegger. And one more thing – if the terminators are composed of nuclear material, how come when they got blown up in previous films (or earlier in this film), it didn’t wipe out every single thing in the area? That seems to only apply to serve the needs of a script that might be the worst of its kind…ever.
Performance time, or lack thereof. Listening to Christian Bale and Michael Ironside go at it is like listening to Clint Eastwood and Harrison Ford share a heated conversation on a kidnapping:
FORD: Give me back my family.
EASTWOOD: Grrrrrrrrrrr.
FORD: I’m the President of the United States.
EASTWOOD: Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Except this one goes a little something like this:
IRONSIDE: I need you to send your men in.
BALE: Grrrr. I won’t send my men in.
IRONSIDE: Do it!
BALE: Grrrr. No!
IRONSIDE: Then you are relieved of your command!
BALE: Grrrrr. You can’t relieve me of my command!
And who can we get that is super intimidating to be the face of Skynet, one of the most evil entities in film history? Why not Helena Bonham Carter? I know it’s that whole ‘face of a woman’ thing but wouldn’t someone like Forest Whitaker or John Hurt been a better choice? Helena Bonham Carter is just awful when she tries to be interesting. Why? Because she’s not. Bryce Dallas Howard just prances around, pregnant as hell, and serves no purpose in the film. She does nothing, hardly says a word and gets one good Christian Bale kiss to write home about for her efforts. Sam Worthington does an okay job, but he keeps switching accents from American to British to Australian. He’s rather inconsistent and he has too much screams in the film. The best performance in the film comes from Anton Yelchin simply because he was the most believable and he does something I have never seen him do before. The second best performance comes from Linda Hamilton who visits us via vocals on a tape player. Everything else is not worth mentioning because everything else sucks.
This is the perfect example of a trailer that is far better than the film. McG is easily one of the worst directors working in Hollywood and he really should stick to the small screen since he obviously wants to try and make the big screen as small as possible. I want to sit down with him and watch “Terminator: Salvation” with him to get an idea of what he was thinking when he made these decisions. You have to think even someone like Renny Harlin might have given us a couple more cool sequences that weren’t so digital. When I am saying Renny Harlin would have done a better job with something, it means trouble. “Terminator: Salvation” is the worst film of 2009, the worst for the franchise and an absolute waste given the talent involved. And if Christian Bale doesn’t stop with the damned Batman voice, I am going to write him off for good. Take some acting lessons for the love of God. Someone needs to teach him he doesn’t have to sound like he has throat cancer to sound emotional. By the time this film was over, I was rooting for the machines to win. Destroy all humans!
Christian Bale (John Connor)
Sam Worthington (Marcus Wright)
Anton Yelchin (Kyle Reese)
Moon Bloodgood (Blair Williams)
Helena Bonham Carter (Dr. Serena Kogan)
Bryce Dallas Howard (Kate Connor)
Michael Ironside (General Ashdown)
Director: McG
Rated PG-13
Monday, March 16, 2009
OBITUARY
R.I.P.
RON SILVER
1946 - 2009
FILMOGRAPHY:
1981...The Entity
1982...Silent Rage
1982...Best Friends
1983...Silkwood
1984...Romancing the Stone
1984...The Goodbye People
1985...Oh God! You Devil
1989...Blue Steel
1989...Enemies: A Love Story
1990...Reversal of Fortune
1991...The Good Policeman
1991...Married to It
1992...Live Wire
1992...Mr. Saturday Night
1994...Timecop
1996...Girl 6
1996...The Arrival
1999...Black and White
2001...Ali
2001..."The West Wing"
2006...Find Me Guilty
2007...The Ten
Until I read about Ron Silver's death from cancer, I had forgotten the actor even existed, which is very sad indeed. I remember growing up with his performance as the villainous antagonist in the underrated sci-fi masterpiece "The Arrival". I remember marveling at his 2001 performance in "Ali", which I had hoped would place him back in the thick of the acting world. But, that was right around the time when he first got sick. Ron Silver was a fine actor, a Tony Award winner for his role in the original production of David Mamet's "Speed the Plow"; he was also nominated for two Emmy Awards, one for his role on "The West Wing". Silver was also an outspoken political activist, a former Democrat turned G.O.P. spokesperson. He was a fine talent and he will be missed. I encourage you to check out "The Arrival".
RON SILVER
1946 - 2009
FILMOGRAPHY:
1981...The Entity
1982...Silent Rage
1982...Best Friends
1983...Silkwood
1984...Romancing the Stone
1984...The Goodbye People
1985...Oh God! You Devil
1989...Blue Steel
1989...Enemies: A Love Story
1990...Reversal of Fortune
1991...The Good Policeman
1991...Married to It
1992...Live Wire
1992...Mr. Saturday Night
1994...Timecop
1996...Girl 6
1996...The Arrival
1999...Black and White
2001...Ali
2001..."The West Wing"
2006...Find Me Guilty
2007...The Ten
Until I read about Ron Silver's death from cancer, I had forgotten the actor even existed, which is very sad indeed. I remember growing up with his performance as the villainous antagonist in the underrated sci-fi masterpiece "The Arrival". I remember marveling at his 2001 performance in "Ali", which I had hoped would place him back in the thick of the acting world. But, that was right around the time when he first got sick. Ron Silver was a fine actor, a Tony Award winner for his role in the original production of David Mamet's "Speed the Plow"; he was also nominated for two Emmy Awards, one for his role on "The West Wing". Silver was also an outspoken political activist, a former Democrat turned G.O.P. spokesperson. He was a fine talent and he will be missed. I encourage you to check out "The Arrival".
Thursday, February 26, 2009
REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA Apology
So, you guys got me thinking – maybe I'm an asshole. Maybe I watched “Repo! The Genetic Opera” in the wrong frame of mind and maybe I didn't give it the credit that it deserved. I have had so many responses to my review of the film – more than I've ever had before; some I have posted, and some I have not. If I have read one defense 3 or 4 times already, you're review probably didn't get posted because I did not want to read the 5th. But it did get me thinking about how maybe I was the only one with this particular mindset. But then, I happened upon some of these little goodies:
PETER TRAVERS of ROLLING STONE says:
“Talented actors are involved, and I will spare them by not citing their names.”
NATHAN LEE of THE NEW YORK TIMES says:
“Darren Lynn Bousman, the director of several “Saw” sequels, has devised an excruciating new torture with “Repo!”
CLAUDIA PUIG of USA TODAY says:
“Repo! might have been an SNL or MADtv skit, but as a movie, it should be repossessed by its financiers.”
MARK OLSEN of THE LOS ANGELES TIMES says:
“The film is bad -- not good-bad, tacky-bad or fun-bad, just plain awful and nearly unwatchable.”
KURT LODER of MTV says:
“A movie in search of a cult. Good luck.”
KYLE SMITH of THE NEW YORK POST says:
“The smudgy pall cast over everything by director Darren Lynn Bousman might work for a five-minute music video, but it quickly becomes as tiresome as the general air of bombastitude.”
ED GONZALEZ of SLANT MAGAZINE says:
“Give me torture porn any day.”
J. HOBERMAN of THE VILLAGE VOICE says:
“So embarrassing that, for the first time, I wanted to avert my eyes from the screen, although that might have also been because Repo! appears to have been shot with a cell phone.”
So then I thought – “Wow. These are the crème de la crème in terms of film criticism in American today. And these critics seemed to have just as vicious things to say about the film as I did.” I even went and read the full reviews of Mark Olsen and Ed Gonzalez and found them to be far more savage than mine.
So what did I miss? What evaded me that so many of these 'fans' of the film got? What made this film so enjoyable to them and such a waste of time and money to me? THEN IT HIT ME! All of a sudden, it snuck up on me and struck me in the back of the head. It was something I had thought of before but had temporarily forgotten all about. And it came back at just the right time – just when I was about to watch the film AGAIN:
“Repo! The Genetic Opera” is FUCKING AWFUL. There's a reason it's sitting at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes and has received comments like the ones above. There's a reason the film only made $180,000 worldwide and played in a maximum of 11 theatres. If it looks, smells and feels like a piece of shit – guess what, it's a piece of shit. Maybe the problem is that I choose to use profanity in my review of the film. So what? I save the clean stuff for films that deserve it, not complete and distasteful bombs like “Repo!” It deserves every 'fuck' and 'shit' and 'motherfucker' that it receives and then some. Some films are beyond awful. Some films are worthless.
So, this is my APOLOGY to all of you out there who wrote in, shared your thoughts and opinions with me and tried to explain why I was full of shit. I sincerely apologize for not ending this ridiculous diatribe earlier and for allowing it to go on as long as I did. “Repo! The Genetic Opera”, which you poor, pathetic cine-tards have latched onto as your Jesus Christ of modern cinema, is one of the worst films ever made.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
OBITUARY
R.I.P.
HOWARD ZIEFF
1927 - 2009
FILMOGRAPHY:
1973...Slither
1975...Hearts of the West
1978...House Calls
1979...The Main Event
1980...Private Benjamin
1984...Unfaithfully Yours
1989...The Dream Team
1991...My Girl
1994...My Girl 2
Howard Zieff was one of those directors from the 1980's whose work has kind of been forgotten over the years. "Private Benjamin" was probably his most notable film and it led Goldie Hawn to her second Oscar nomination. My favorite Howard Zieff would have to be either "The Dream Team", a ridiculous comedy about escaped patients from a mental facility; or "My Girl", one of the sweetest films from the early-1990's and one of my favorite films as a child. Howard Zieff gave up directing in 1994 and now leaves us today at 81-years of age. He will be missed.
HOWARD ZIEFF
1927 - 2009
FILMOGRAPHY:
1973...Slither
1975...Hearts of the West
1978...House Calls
1979...The Main Event
1980...Private Benjamin
1984...Unfaithfully Yours
1989...The Dream Team
1991...My Girl
1994...My Girl 2
Howard Zieff was one of those directors from the 1980's whose work has kind of been forgotten over the years. "Private Benjamin" was probably his most notable film and it led Goldie Hawn to her second Oscar nomination. My favorite Howard Zieff would have to be either "The Dream Team", a ridiculous comedy about escaped patients from a mental facility; or "My Girl", one of the sweetest films from the early-1990's and one of my favorite films as a child. Howard Zieff gave up directing in 1994 and now leaves us today at 81-years of age. He will be missed.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
OBITUARY
R.I.P.
RICARDO MONTALBAN
1920 - 2009
FILMOGRAPHY:
1957...Sayonara
1962...Hemingway's Adventures of A Young Man
1964...Cheyenne Autumn
1965...The Money Trap
1966...Madame X
1966...The Singing Nun
1968...Sol Madrid
1968...Blue
1969...Sweet Charity
1971...Escape from the Planet of the Apes
1972...Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
1973...The Train Robbers
1978..."Fantasy Island"
1982...Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan
1985..."The Colbys"
1988...The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
2002...Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams
2003...Spy Kid 3-D: Game Over
The name Ricardo Montalban is synonymous with a long and illustrious career. His name has been the brunt of many jokes and his roles have been odd and memorable, ranging from his most notable role in the popular television series "Fantasy Island" to his role as the evil Khan in "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan". I will best remember him as the seedy villain in one of the greatest comedies of all time, "The Naked Gun". His voice became one of the most recognizable in any medium. You know the face. You know the career. He was a legend and will be missed terribly.
RICARDO MONTALBAN
1920 - 2009
FILMOGRAPHY:
1957...Sayonara
1962...Hemingway's Adventures of A Young Man
1964...Cheyenne Autumn
1965...The Money Trap
1966...Madame X
1966...The Singing Nun
1968...Sol Madrid
1968...Blue
1969...Sweet Charity
1971...Escape from the Planet of the Apes
1972...Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
1973...The Train Robbers
1978..."Fantasy Island"
1982...Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan
1985..."The Colbys"
1988...The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
2002...Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams
2003...Spy Kid 3-D: Game Over
The name Ricardo Montalban is synonymous with a long and illustrious career. His name has been the brunt of many jokes and his roles have been odd and memorable, ranging from his most notable role in the popular television series "Fantasy Island" to his role as the evil Khan in "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan". I will best remember him as the seedy villain in one of the greatest comedies of all time, "The Naked Gun". His voice became one of the most recognizable in any medium. You know the face. You know the career. He was a legend and will be missed terribly.
OBITUARY
R.I.P.
PATRICK MCGOOHAN
1928 - 2009
FILMOGRAPHY:
1955...Passage Home
1956...Zarak
1957...High Tide at Noon
1957...Hell Drivers
1958...The Gypsy and the Gentleman
1961...Two Living, One Dead
1962...All Night Long
1967..."The Prisoner"
1968...Journey Into Darkness
1970...The Moonshine War
1971...Mary, Queen of Scots
1974...Columbo: By Dawn's Early Light
1975...Columbo: Identity Crisis
1976...Silver Streak
1978...Brass Target
1979...Escape from Alcatraz
1981...Scanners
1985...Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend
1990...Columbo: Agenda for Murder
1995...Braveheart
1996...The Phantom
1996...A Time to Kill
1998...Columbo: Ashes to Ashes
There is no doubt that most film fans know Patrick McGoohan as the villainous Longshanks from "Braveheart", one of the most sinister and riveting performances of the 1990's. A lot of people will remember him as the lead actor in the 1960's cult series "The Prisoner". Along with "Braveheart", I remember him as the warden from "Escape from Alcatraz" and his repeated role in the popular "Columbo" franchise. McGoohan had a long and successful career playing a wide assortment of characters -- he was never pigeon holed into a particular genre or character type, just one of his many accomplishments.
PATRICK MCGOOHAN
1928 - 2009
FILMOGRAPHY:
1955...Passage Home
1956...Zarak
1957...High Tide at Noon
1957...Hell Drivers
1958...The Gypsy and the Gentleman
1961...Two Living, One Dead
1962...All Night Long
1967..."The Prisoner"
1968...Journey Into Darkness
1970...The Moonshine War
1971...Mary, Queen of Scots
1974...Columbo: By Dawn's Early Light
1975...Columbo: Identity Crisis
1976...Silver Streak
1978...Brass Target
1979...Escape from Alcatraz
1981...Scanners
1985...Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend
1990...Columbo: Agenda for Murder
1995...Braveheart
1996...The Phantom
1996...A Time to Kill
1998...Columbo: Ashes to Ashes
There is no doubt that most film fans know Patrick McGoohan as the villainous Longshanks from "Braveheart", one of the most sinister and riveting performances of the 1990's. A lot of people will remember him as the lead actor in the 1960's cult series "The Prisoner". Along with "Braveheart", I remember him as the warden from "Escape from Alcatraz" and his repeated role in the popular "Columbo" franchise. McGoohan had a long and successful career playing a wide assortment of characters -- he was never pigeon holed into a particular genre or character type, just one of his many accomplishments.
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